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And then, ever so gradually I felt a feeling start to rise within me. I’d not felt its influence much since I’d met Sue and started out on our happy journey together. It was a voice within my head telling me to live for today and hang the consequences. Let tomorrow look after tomorrow, grab the pleasures that were on offer today. It was a voice of self-destructive short-termism, a voice that every addict the world over knows.Part of me tried to fight and deny this voice, but something in my make-up allowed that voice to grow stronger and stronger, until I knew exactly what I would do when Sue arrived. I’d let the demons within, which I’d controlled these last twenty years, have their head. I knew at that moment that when Francis and Sue arrived, I’d agree to her suggestion, and hand her over to Francis for the rest of the night.I closed my eyes again, trying to calm myself and stop myself shaking. As I opened my eyes, I looked at the clock, moving at a glacial pace. My mind played. Shaun rolled his eyes. ‘Well, thumping him made me feel better,’ he mumbled. ‘Did it?’ she asked, unbelieving. ‘Did it really? And now they’re talking about you and your French teacher –‘ ‘I don’t want to hear it,’ Shaun said, stopping her early. ‘If it’s alright by you, I really don’t feel like another third degree about Ms Tiann.’ ‘Is it true?’ Chris asked, simply, hands on hips. He looked at her, he may have been a good liar to everyone else, but he could never lie properly to her, he could never get his face right. So he said nothing, and she saw his answer. ‘It is true,’ she saw, disappointedly. ‘Oh come on, Chris,’ he implored of her. ‘You know Ms Tiann, you’ve seen her — can you really blame me? Could you seriously expect any guy to turn down that sort of advance?’ Chris didn’t speak to that, she merely shook her head. ‘It’s just a lot for one day,’ she said. ‘Getting it on with your saucy French teacher, then stomping all over my ex-boyfriend?’ ‘It is a bit much to cram into.
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